Monday, April 6, 2009

Sumsing Turbo 3000: The ultimate in convergence.

Mobile phone with many surprising built-in functions. Must be seen to be believed.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

WebCam spy feature for websites

Woopra, the world’s fastest growing Web Analytics provider, today announced that the next version of its wildly popular real-time Website monitoring application will allow users to remotely activate and view Website visitor’s built-in Webcams.

The company’s chief scientist, Dr. Lirpa Sloof, said, “Woopra already provides the most robust, feature rich and easy to use Web analytics available. Today we extend our market lead by integrating our latest patent-pending technology to give Webmasters more information about their visitors than ever before.”

PetBook K9

Playing fetch is so last year!

Microsoft asks feds for bailout

Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controlling an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. The company said low adoption rates for Windows Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout.

"We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. "This is simply a crisis of dollars -- a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way. And if Microsoft collapses, better than 80 percent of the OS market collapses with us. We are requesting these bailout funds to avoid that undesirable outcome by bridging the gap between now and Windows 7."

Apple patents method to enforce secrecy

The US Patent and Trademark office published an Apple patent filing on Wednesday that analysts are calling a bold attempt by the Cupertino Fruit Company to protect its core corporate values and business practices.

Since the return of Steve Jobs to the consumer electronics giant and sometimes computer maker in 1997, Apple has become famous for its secrecy - so much so that many a journalist has programmed Microsoft Word's AutoText capability to replace brief key codes with the phrases "We don't comment on unannounced products" and "Apple declined to comment on this report".

Taking the work out of responding to messages

As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages.

WolfPigeon: Wireless everywhere

Ubiquitous Digital Networking

Interconnectivity has never been more important. Digital networks serve up more and more of our entertainment, information, and communication than ever. Indeed, our ability to easily connect with each other is the foundation of our daily lives.

Qualcomm, with its newly developed convergence program, seeks to create the first truly ubiquitous digital network so that everyone, everywhere, can find themselves connected.

Warner Brothers acquires Pirate Bay

After years of hostility, lawsuits, police raids and heated invective between the two groups, the Pirate Bay has today announced they have settled their differences with US media conglomerate Warner Bros. The largest BitTorrent tracker has sold out to Hollywood and the two have agreed a deal.

The deal, worth over $13 billion (10 billion euros) came about after the recent performance at the Pirate Bay trial gave strong indications that the judgment would go against Warner Bros. For the Hollywood movie studio, it seems that acquiring The Pirate Bay was the only option left.

Equal Parking for Women in Germany

Starting August, half of parking spaces in the inner cities will be reserved for women and designated with a special purple sticker on each car. Ministers will be coordinating the free give-away, today only, of the stickers in Munich & Regensburg. As well, the first 100,000 men have a chance to obtain a sticker as well.

Pigeons to be used to directly target consumers

LONDON - The City's surplus pigeon population is to be tagged with GPS technology to launch a new media vehicle for clients wanting to target consumers directly outdoors.

The initiative, developed by creative advertising agency Creative Orchestra, uses GPS technology to sync-up with users mobile phones.
Using electromagnetism, the birds are able to navigate the location of their targets, using new patented technology called BYRD, originally developed for use in the American military. BYRD disrupts the pigeons natural geometrics and allows the GPS technology to steer it towards any mobile device.

Cloud Computing Reaches for the Sky

Early this morning we launched a brand new cloud computing service. This revolutionary new technology will change the way you think about the cloud.

For a while the cloud was simply a metaphor meaning "a bunch of computers somewhere else." Until now, somewhere else meant good old terra firma, the Earth itself. After extensive customer research we found that this rigid, antiquated way of thinking just won't cut it in today's post-capitalist world. They need locational flexibility, the ability to literally instantiate a cloud where they need it, when they need it.

To solve this problem, we have designed and are now introducing the Floating Amazon Cloud Environment, or FACE for short. Using the latest in airship technology, we've created a cloud that can come to you.

The Guardian Goes Twitter

Consolidating its position at the cutting edge of new media technology, the Guardian today announces that it will become the first newspaper in the world to be published exclusively via Twitter, the sensationally popular social networking service that has transformed online communication.

The move, described as "epochal" by media commentators, will see all Guardian content tailored to fit the format of Twitter's brief text messages, known as "tweets", which are limited to 140 characters each.

Expedia: Flights to Mars from only $99

That's right! Expedia has dropped all booking fees—including fees on flights to Mars. Right now you can save over $3 trillion on a Mars vacation—and in this economy, you can't afford NOT to go!Only on Expedia!

BMW Magnetic Tow Technology

For once, BMW is happy to be behind the competition.

LOL code search

Google Code Search has a special syntax to search for lolcode only. Just use lang:lolcode when searching for something, and you’ll get lots of OM NOM NOM. The Google Code Search homepage is full of other lolcat-related examples.

The gBall(BETA)

This weekend around the country, the gBall(BETA) will change Australian rules football as we know it.

Building on our core strength in search, Google was approached by a number of Australian rules football leagues to apply our technology in their search for new talent. In response, Google, in partnership with the official supplier of matchballs to the AFL, Sherrin, has developed the gBall. Incorporating specially developed Google technology, it will be used in all school and amateur competitions - and will go on sale to the public - this weekend.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Jeff Bezos announces Pay-per-view for Kindle 2

In a surprise announcement, on Wednesday April 1st, Jeff Bezos, Chairman and CEO of, personally contacted owners of the Kindle 2 e-book reader via Whispernet-o-gram, reportedly to offer them a special deal on Amazon's new Pay-Per-View service designed specifically for the newest Kindle reading device.

Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity

For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Paying in Ink

The German computer magazine c't reports in their issue of the week of April 1 that since ink jet ink is more expensive than silver, that you can pay small amounts by having your printer fill a page with black ink, and the printer producers will send the money they will get back from you when you refill on to whomever you wanted. The protocol is called PPP, Picopayment Protocol.

It is such a crazy idea, the printer industry might actually try it. But I am calling this an April Fool's joke, c't usually has whoppers. Let the crazy day 2009 begin!

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